12 August 2005

the "good-bye" phase

Hey y'all... hey bezaire, guess what? no more tick tock :p

yeah... tonight I just got home from Bryden's Bar in Milton where I met some of my friends... possibly the last time I will see them before I leave this tuesday. I'm going through this "good-bye" phase where I practically say good bye to everybody I see these days because the chances of seeing them again before next week are very slim.

The "good-bye" phase is actually something new to me, I'm not usually a sentimental person where I get into tears over something superficial however, in this so-called phase,... it gets harder for me to say good bye every single time.... every single time it increasingly gets to me emotionally. I feel as if I am actually already leaving my home by saying goodbye as if I am leaving forever.

I realize that a "see you later" is probably a better term to be used at this moment however for some reason, I feel "good byes" is a better fit... I don't know how to explain it, for those who thinks that I'm never coming back to Canada again, don't get your hopes up, I will be back next summer... probably just to annoy most of you :)

during the "good bye" phase, I've noticed that there many "last time I'll do that" stuff around here, such as going to my local mall... changing my car oil, or going to work (by the way, today I worked my last shift :) )... As the frequency of the "last time" stuff happens, I begin to realize the reality of being away from home. It's really intriguing to comprenhend how many people actually take the term "home" for granted so much time. I am beginning to see how precious my "home" is, it basically is who I am, my own identity along with everything about me including my friends, my routines, my liveihood, my language and culture... Where I am going, there is almost nothing that will resembles to my "home" expect for Elisabet. I don't really have many close friends, I don't know what I will do everyday in Jonkoping, I know I will have to struggle with the language (written and sign) for a long time before I actually become fluent in it.

After the "good bye" phase, I think I'll be stuck in a void between my home and my new home for a long time before where I will finally settle down. For sure, I can count on having huge headaches on the first few weeks in Sweden because I will have to actually "THINK" and "ANALYZE" each swedish word spoken to me to just understand what it means.

For those who are wondering, Elisabet arrived Sweden sometime during early afternoon today (she left late last night)... so, I guess I'm next :)

yeah, just 5 days left... tomorrow, I'm gonna go to OHIP office and let them know I'm gonna be out of the country for some time... then later the night I'll go and visit my grandparents along with my extended family in Chatham for the weekend along with my dad and my brother and spend my birthday over there... then hopefully on sunday night I can see some more friends at Matt's trailer including ONENINEFIVE!.. he owes me a bottle of absinthe, I've got couple of bottles of rum for him if he wants it :)

within a week or so, I will be writing a summarization of what this blog is all about... my first post didnt really cover much so I thought I'd do a better job next time.

'til then

2 comments:

MACanadian227 said...

Bgour, Wish you to have a good luck in Sweden, "Good-Bye". T'care of yourself! 227

Buzzair said...

No more tick tock :)

Sorry I couldn't be there for your farewell dude..I was in Rochy

Best of luck to you bro and keep up with your blogging.